Black Lillies
by Lugia Smiles
Summary: When Lily was asked to tutor the girl "as good as sold to Lucius Malfoy," she expected a haughty, proud Slytherin. Instead, Narcissa is affectionate, naively trusting, and quietly falling apart. Maybe even falling in love. "There's no reason for her to trust me. Why do I WANT her to trust me?" Can Lily and Narcissa survive the pressures of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?
1. Charms Class

"Sorry I'm late, Professor! Red-haired and red-faced, Lily Evans rushed in to the Charms classroom.

"Miss Evans. Five points from Gryffindor for your tardiness. On the first day of classes, too! Please try to talk less to Mr. Potter, and try harder instead to be on time."

"Sorry Professor. I would if only he'd let me." Snickers greeted her remark – it was widely known amongst the Fifth Years that Lily could not _stand_ the attentions of James Potter.

"Noted, Miss Evans. Please see me after class."

"Yes, Professor Flitwick." With a scowl, Lily walked to the last empty seat in the classroom. The girl next to her didn't so much as look up as Lily sat down and quickly organised her textbooks on the desk.

_Narcissa Black, of all people. Ugh. I know Sev says she's sweet compared to Bellatrix, but can _anything_ good come from the 'Most Ancient and Noble House of Black?' Hopefully she's less of a pain in the arse than her cousin._

Mumbling threats against 'that Potter boy' under her breath, Lily was irritated to realise she'd left her quills in the Common Room in her haste to escape yet another bad pick-up line. She grabbed her wand, intending to transform one of the sickles in her pocket in to something serviceable, when a pale hand slid a quill across the desk. Surprised, Lily glanced over at Miss Black, who for all intents and purposes appeared to be following the Professor intently.

With a bemused shake of her head, Lily picked up the offered quill and quickly started trying to catch up on the instructions Professor Flitwick was giving on various summoning and banishing spells. _Certainly more complex than 'wingardium leviosa!' _she thought.

Finally the bell rang to signal the end of class. Lily glanced from her quill to Narcissa, slightly envious of the quality and beauty of the eagle feather she'd borrowed.

"Don't forget your quill." She said quietly, laying it gently on the other girl's textbook. "Thank you, I appreciated it." Lily caught a flash of blue eyes and what she thought might have been a smile, before Narcissa swept out of the room with her things, leaving the eagle feather lying on the desk.

Baffled, Lily picked up the quill, stowing it carefully in her bag. _Something so beautiful shouldn't be crushed_.

"Ahem." Lily startled, realising the Professor Flitwick was standing beside her and staring at the goofy smile on her face.

"Sorry, Professor. You wanted to speak to me? I really am sorry for being late!"

"I know, Miss Evans. Is Mr. Potter hassling you again?"

"No more than usual, Professor. I can deal with him."

"If he's bothering you enough to make you late to class, I can have a word with Professor Dumbledore." Flitwick's concerned gaze was obvious. "Although I believe Professor Dumbledore has already had words with the young man on the same subject, and with his friends."

"It's fine, Professor, really." Lily could feel a blush heating her cheeks. "Thank you for your concern, I shall keep it in mind."

"Okay. On another note, Miss Evans, the actual reason I wanted to see you was to ask if you would be interested in tutoring another 5th year in Charms. You certainly don't need to make up any work – based on your results last year I would expect you to receive an Outstanding in Charms. However both myself, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Slughorn would greatly appreciate your assistance. The girl is having … shall we say, troubles at home … and we think that she would appreciate the help of another female student more than she would extra classes with one of us."

"It's a Slytherin, Professor, that I would be tutoring? I have no problem with that, but they quite likely will." Lily's smile dimmed. "I am happy to tutor her, however."

"Thank you, Miss Evans. I think you'll find Miss Black – Narcissa Black, as she is the only one left at Howarts now that her sisters have graduated – to be quite a brilliant young witch, much like yourself."

"That is very kind, Professor Flitwick. Thank you."

_Narcissa Black? This is turning in to a very strange day. _Bidding Professor Flitwick a good evening, she walked to the Great Hall in a daze. _Troubles at home? I wonder what that could be. Sirius would probably know. _Lily groaned, startling the group of first years passing her in the corridor. _The real question is, what will I have to do for him to find out?_

* * *

"James. Hogsmeade. A date." Sirius's face was carefully blank, but Lily noted the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Sirius, honestly." Remus rolled his eyes and threw a cushion at the other boy. "You'll never get anything that way." Lily chuckled: of all the self-proclaimed Marauders, Remus was the only one Lily could ever manage to talk sensibly with.

"Fiiiiine," Sirius drawled in exasperation. "You do my Charms homework – well enough I get good marks, not so well that Flitwick knows it's you – for a week, and I tell you about _precious little 'Cissa._" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why you would want to know _anything_ about _anyone_ in my family other than me, only Merlin knows." He narrowed his eyes. "Why _do_ you want to know?"

"We've been assigned a paired assignment in Charms," Lily lied smoothly, "and Professor Flitwick warned me she was having some troubles at home, and hoped she might open up to me."

"That's not too far off the mark." Remus chimed in thoughtfully. "Now that I think about it, since Andromeda graduated in our Fourth Year, I've never noticed anyone other than Lucius and Bellatrix with your cousin. They graduated last year, remember? Merlin knows those two are scary enough to have stopped even other Slytherins looking twice at Narcissa."

"Looking _once_ you mean. Dear cousin Bellatrix would hex any girl who wasn't good enough to befriend her little sister – and that means everyone! The Malfoys and my uncle have arranged a marriage between Narcissa and Lucius – dark bastard – since they were children." Remus flinched.

"Poor girl. But that's old news, Sirius. Stop keeping Lily waiting, I'm sure she's got plenty of Charms homework to do." He winked at her.

"Sirius, tell me what's been happening lately, and I'll do you Charms homework all of next week."

"Deal!" Sirius punched the air in success. "Okay. Honestly, Remus, I'm surprised you haven't heard. Andromeda ran off with what my charming family would _politely_ call a 'mud-blood.' You remember Ted Tonks?" They both nodded. "They eloped. Narcissa has always been closer to Andromeda than Bellatrix. Cousin Romi got herself blasted off the family tree." Sirius's voice turned bitter. "Bets are on that I'll be next. Romi was the only sane one out of the whole damn lot." Remus and Lily both looked politely puzzled, waiting for Sirius to continue. He sighed. "I shouldn't have to explain this to you. Once you're off the family tree, as far as the House of Black is concerned, you no longer exist. My aunt and uncle would both walk right past their daughter in the street and not even glance her way. Forget about letters, they'll burn on the borders of the property." His expression was scornful. "It's a fair bet little Narcissa will never see or hear from her sister again. Hopefully once I've left Hogwarts I can track her down. Narcissa is betrothed to Lucius Malfoy – she wouldn't dare oppose both the Malfoys _and_ the Blacks. She doesn't have the spine."

"You don't know that, Sirius." Remus' voice was soft but reproachful. "You can push your family so far and get away with it. You can _leave_ and get away with it. You know perfectly well Narcissa is too valuable to your family given her link to the Malfoys."

"That's true." The scornful tone was replaced by a bleak, grim bark Lily had never heard Sirius use. "They'll never let her go. I've heard how her parents speak about her. As far as they're concerned, she's as good as sold to Lucius Malfoy."

_As good as sold to Lucius Malfoy._

* * *

Lily scowled at her textbooks in frustration. Despite sitting next to Narcissa in all of their shared classes – Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and Defence Against the Dark Arts – she still hadn't managed to have a conversation with the mysterious Miss Black. She'd even gone to the trouble of deliberately running late to class, knowing that there was always an empty seat beside Narcissa. Lily's closest friend, a Ravenclaw named Vanessa, didn't share many of her classes this year, which was a blessing in disguise. Today, Lily had given up pretending to run late, and simply made sure she arrived after Narcissa (who was always early), and claimed the seat beside her, despite the rows of unoccupied desks around the room.

"Narcissa, right? I'm Lily." Smiling with a confidence she didn't feel, she held her hand out to the blonde girl. For the first time Narcissa met her gaze, eyes wide and a clear, pale blue. Her handshake was gentle without being limp, and Lily could feel colour unexpectedly rising in her cheeks.

"Yes. I know." The blue eyes dropped behind dark eyelashes.

"Thank you for the quill, it's quite lovely." Lily was beginning to feel quite awkward around this quiet, unexpectedly shy young woman.

"I'm glad you like it." Narcissa's voice was soft, and Lily leant closer to hear her.

"I do. I'm not sure if Professor Flitwick has mentioned anything, but he asked me to help you with your Charms?" Another flash of blue eyes and a downturned mouth before Narcissa looked away again.

"He mentioned it."

"If you don't want my help, that's okay too." Lily's face was scorching now, not knowing what to say. _She's nothing like what I expected Bellatrix's sister to be._

"It would be kind of you. Shall I meet you at the library, say tomorrow afternoon after class?"

"That's fine." A loud group of Slytherins walked in to the room, and Lily realised with a start that she was still holding Narcissa's hand. She dropped it quickly, and noted an odd expression flit across the other girl's face. _Probably doesn't want to be seen talking to a Gryffindor._

* * *

Lily arrived at the Library to find Narcissa curled up in a window-seat, staring out over the grounds. A book lay open in her lap. She took note of the other girl's sad posture, arms wrapped around herself, and the curve to her mouth that wasn't quite happy. _Bittersweet. I wonder what she's thinking? Why am I wondering that? Well, Professor Flitwick did tell me to look out for her, and I can see why. She looks sad. I don't know how I'm supposed to tutor someone who can barely look in my general direction, though._

"You look comfortable." The words blurted out before Lily registered the thought. "In the window-seat, I mean. Actually you look sad." _Lily, you fool. Shut up._ _She can barely talk to you as it is!_

"Lily!" The warmth in the soft voice took her by surprise. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you walk over." Pink tinged the pale girl's high cheekbones. _I think that's the longest sentence she's ever said to me._

"No worries. Mind if I join you?"

"Yes! I mean, no. Not at all. I mean, I don't mind. You may sit, that is, if you want to." The Slytherin was clearly aware she was babbling. Lily sat on the other side of the window seat, small enough that her bent legs were beside Narcissa's.

"Quite cosy." She smiled, and Narcissa returned it before looking away shyly. _I must remember to ask Sirius or Sev whether Narcissa has always been this quite, or if she lost her confidence when she lost her sister. _"So… Professor Flitwick told me you're struggling in Charms? Well, not that you're struggling, just that you could use some extra help." She mentally cursed her poor choice of words.

"Oh. Yes. I suppose that's true." Her blue eyes narrowed, focusing on Lily for the first time. "My sister left, you know. Andromeda. She left me. And I can't seem – seem to – seem to charm anything!" Her voice wobbled alarmingly. "Romi always tutored me over the hols, or after class."

Taken aback at this abrupt and intimate announcement, Lily wondered how to respond. She saw Narcissa's arms tighten around herself and the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes. _What did I get myself in to?_

"I know we've never really spoken, Narcissa, but if you need a friend, someone to talk with-" while speaking, she hesitantly reached over and put a hand on the other girl's shoulder. To her utter astonishment, Narcissa was suddenly in her arms and sobbing uncontrollably.

_What do I do? How am I supposed to respond? What _is_ this!?_

Kindness taking over, Lily held the other girl tightly until her sobs receded in to hiccups and deep breaths.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean – I'm sorry. This is so embarrassing!" Pique coloured Narcissa's voice. She shifted her weight until she was leaning inside the curve of Lily's arms, now sitting on the same side of the window-seat. Lily could still feel Narcissa trembling.

"It's okay." She winced. "Well, _you're_ obviously not okay. But I understand." She opened her mouth but no words came out, struggling to figure out what was appropriate to say. "As I said," she fumbled "if you want a friend, well, you could always… talk to me? If you'd like that." She was rewarded with Narcissa's face lighting up, and a dazzling smile.

"This – that would be nice." _This is nice. Wait – what? _Abruptly, Lily became aware of Narcissa's warm back pressed against her chest, and that she was sitting in a window seat with her arms wrapped tightly around another girl.

"First, though, I think we should work on your Charms. Why don't we head over to the classroom?" She matched her movements to her brisk tone, sliding off the window-seat and pulling Narcissa to her feet as well. She pretended not to notice the strange expression flickering on the blonde girl's face again, the same one from Charms that Lily just couldn't pin down.

* * *

Lily stared at the crimson curtains around her four poster bed. Feigning a headache, she avoided her friend Vanessa and had gone to bed early. Three hours later, she was still wide awake.

_I don't understand. Every time I close my eyes, it's like I can feel Narcissa back in my arms. See her bright smile, those clear blue eyes, and sun highlighting her hair… why am I thinking this? Where are these thoughts coming from? I can feel heat flushing my face from the memory. She looked so lost and alone. I think she trusts me, even though there's no reason for her to trust me. Why do I _want_ her to trust me?_


	2. Clock Tower

Lily rubbed her eyes, stretching as she woke up in her familiar four-poster. Her usually smooth forehead was creased as she frowned, remembering the afternoon before.

_I was just being silly_, she thought_, Narcissa had obviously just reached her breaking point, and I just happened to be there. That's all. _Satisfied with her logic, the red-head got up, gathered her robes, and headed for the showers. She let the streaming hot shower water pound against her back and shoulders, loosening muscles she hadn't realised were taut. _I'm glad I was there. I mean, I'm glad she wasn't alone when it became too much. Even if she is a Slytherin._ She massaged product in to her hair, enjoying the faint raspberry scent of her shampoo. _It would be nice to have another girl friend. Vanessa hasn't really been around since she started dating that Ravenclaw boy, Benjamin… whenever we talk it's been "boys this," "boys that," and I just _don't get it._ I guess one day I'll meet my Prince Charming. Blue eyes, blond hair – _unbidden, the image of Narcissa's face rose, and Lily chuckled quietly to herself. _I suppose Lucius is handsome in a cold, arrogant way. He and Narcissa will certainly make a striking couple. Why does that make me sad? Perhaps because she doesn't seem so thrilled with him._

Having stepped out of the shower and dressed, Lily took particular care to brush her hair until it was gleaming. She winced at the dark circles under her eyes, and dug through her trunk until she found a small wooden box filled with foundation, mascara, lipsticks, nail polish. Pulling a face in the mirror, she applied a light layer of foundation and concealer. _What the heck, _she mused, _if I'm going to bother with the war paint, why not go all out? _An unaccustomed hand applied some gold eye-shadow, black mascara, and blood red lipstick. _Perfect._

* * *

"Lily!" Vanessa sat next to her at breakfast, brown eyes wide. "You look lovely! Why all the makeup? That's _so_ not like you! Who is he? Did James Potter finally catch your eye?"

"Ness!" Lily laughed, "No!"

"Okay, Sirius then! Remus? Surely not Peter!"

"You _know_ the only one of those boys I can speak to for more than five minutes is Remus, 'Ness."

"Oho! The quiet one gets the girl! I knew it! You two were always "studying" together."

"No, no, it's not Remus. It's not any boy. I just felt like looking extra pretty today, okay? For me." Lily could hear a defensive note creeping in to her voice.

"Okay, Lil, if you say so." Vanessa's sing-song voice was clearly disbelieving. "Hey, it's nearly time for class. Chat later!" With a flip of her black hair, Vanessa scooped up her bag and was gone.

* * *

Charms seemed to take forever to reach, that day. Finally, before the bell even rang for class, Lily skipped in to the classroom. She was rewarded with a shy smile from the blonde girl sharing their desk.

"Hello, had a nice morning?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Well enough. Look," Narcissa picked up her wand. "Accio quill!" She pointed her wand at Lily's open bag, and was rewarded with a glossy eagle feather quill flying in to her open hand.

"Good work!" Unthinkingly, Lily put an arm around Narcissa's shoulder and squeezed her gently in a half hug. A pink blush stained the other girl's cheeks, and they both jumped as the bell clanged. Lily let her go and motioned to the quill in her hands, "it's beautiful. Are you sure you don't want it back?"

"Goodness knows Lucius sends me more than enough of the things." She rolled her eyes. "I saw you admiring it. And see? It matches your eye-shadow today. It was destined to be yours. You look very pretty, by the way."

"Thank you." Lily plucked the quill back as Professor Flitwick walked in to the classroom. Narcissa picked up her own quill and scrolled a quick message on a scrap piece of parchment.

**Will you meet me this evening? The clock tower, 8 o'clock? I hope to see you.**

* * *

Lily paced nervously back and forth on the open top level of the tower, chill wind whipping at her hair. She paused, leaning on the railing and staring out over the grounds. _I wonder why Narcissa wanted to meet all the way up here? _She shivered, pulling her cloak tighter. _Not even couples come up here – it's far too cold!_ She eased her breathing in to rhythm with the _tick tock_ of the giant clock above them. Hanging from the ceiling were the four large bells, held magically in place against the gusty weather.

"You came!" A light and obviously delighted voice came from the top of the staircase.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Lily turned and was hit by the full force of Narcissa's smile. Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. She walked over, noticing the other girl carrying a small basket, and was startled by a quick hug.

"I'm sorry – was that too forward?" Shy Narcissa was back in full force. "My family is not very demonstrative, I guess you'd say. I haven't really had many outside friends." She mumbled.

"No – no, it's fine." Lily smiled. "Don't go getting all shy on me again."

"Romi told me about this place," Narcissa said abruptly. "She came up here one night – she was so angry at Mother and Father when she learnt about Lucius – and found out if you sit underneath the bells, the charms that protect them from swaying also reach the ground. It's like a protective bubble." She picked up her basket. "I had one of the house-elves make us some hot chocolate, and brought a blanket and some cushions to sit on. And some flame jars for light."

"Ah, good idea. I'd been wondering what made you come all the way up here!" She helped her friend spread the thick blanket on the cobblestones, casting a few charms to make it heated and soft.

"I knew you could just have charmed the floor, but a blanket just _feels_ nicer, don't you think?"

"Definitely." Lily laid down, propping herself up on one elbow as Narcissa did the same and began pouring them mugs of cocoa. "This is nice." She added idly, gesturing at the bluebell coloured flames lighting up the tower.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Narcissa, can I ask you something? Something personal?"

"Of course you can. We're friends." At that statement Lily felt a warmth in her stomach that had nothing to do with the hot chocolate she was sipping.

"How do _you_ feel about Lucius? … If that's too personal, I'm sorry." She added as the silence grew.

"No, it's not. I – for some reason I feel I can trust you. Romi was so angry. She said Mother and Father had no right to bargain away my future to the Malfoys before I'd even started at Hogwarts. It was finalised last year, on my fifteenth birthday. In reality, it was decided when I was a little girl. I've spent every summer with the Malfoys as far back as I can remember." Her voice was soft, and Lily leaned in to hear her, shifting their mugs where they wouldn't be accidentally knocked over.

"That's terrible!" She whispered.

"It's traditional, for Purebloods." Narcissa continued. "Romi was engaged to one of the Lestrange brothers. She fell in love with Ted Tonks, knowing full well that Mother and Father would never allow her to marry a mu – sorry, a wizard who wasn't a Pureblood." She shrugged sadly. "At least Lucius is kind to me, in his way."

"Do you love him?"

"Love is not a necessity in a Pureblood marriage. Family ties supersede personal preferences." Her voice held the weariness of someone who'd learnt the statement by rote. "I mean this in the most non-offensive way possible, however I want you to know… you are not my family's preference, but I am glad we're becoming friends."

"Me too." They laid in comfortable silence.

"What about you, Lily? Have you ever fallen in love?" Narcissa's voice was wistful.

"Me? Merlin, no."

"I hear James Potter has taken quite the fancy to you? Do you not find him handsome?"

"James Potter has been a thorn on my side since I met him on the train as a first year." Lily snorted. "I am yet to meet a boy that makes my heart flutter, although I guess in time there will be one. Why, do _you_ find him handsome?"

"Certainly not. You said it perfectly – I am yet to meet a boy that makes my heart flutter. I do not think there shall be one."

"Oh, Narcissa, you mustn't think that! I am sure you can come to care for Lucius in time, and if not there will be many other wizards waiting for your attention. Why wouldn't they, for a beautiful young woman like yourself?" She put a comforting hand on the other witch's arm.

"I do not think you understand." She paused, and Lily could see her gathering the courage to speak. She leant closer, seeing the tears brimming in Narcissa's eyes.

"You can tell me. Do you not want to marry Lucius? Is it not just your sister's estrangement upsetting you?"

"It has never been _boys_ that make my heart flutter." Before Lily could fully absorb that startling reply, soft lips pressed against hers. Time stopped. She could hear the pounding of blood in her ears, her green eyes taking in the tears on Narcissa's face, and the vulnerability in her expression as she pulled away just as quickly as their kiss had started. Lily put an arm around Narcissa's waist as she shifted to get up.

"Wait. Please. I … wasn't expecting... that is, I-" _I think I liked that. _Her brain filled in. Trusting her instincts, Lily drew Narcissa close and kissed her back. Soft, curious kisses passed between the two young women as they cuddled. Narcissa had shifted so she was leaning slightly over Lily. Her supporting hand slipped on the rug as they finished a kiss, and she fell forward slightly before regaining her balance. Lily's eyes widened as Narcissa's chest was pressed up firmly against hers, cheeks turning scarlet.

Above them, the bells started chiming the hour, and the two girls scrambled away from the near deafening noise.

"Didn't think about that." Narcissa laughed. "Sorry." They stood next to each other at the railing, eyes bright. "So…"

"I don't know what to say." Lily admitted sheepishly. "I've never done anything like that before. With another girl, I mean." The bells stopped chiming, and they sat back down. Narcissa was quiet now, her face drawn. "I do like you as a friend. I am just not sure – not sure what to think. Hey, please, don't cry!"

"They'll kill me. Oh Merlin, what have I done." Her voice was ragged, and Lily got the impression Narcissa wasn't staring at her, but instead at a scene in her mind. "I should never have let this happen. This is what happens when a girl like me hopes for things she will never possess. What girl has a right to dream for more than the love and riches of Lucius Malfoy, after all?"

"What are you _talking _about?" Lily kissed her, distracting Narcissa from her bitter monologue. "This – this is new for me. I need to sort things out in my head. But _this, you" _she kissed her again, "gives me butterflies like no boy ever has. Okay?"

"Okay." Narcissa still seemed dazed. Lily gave her a hug, feeling the tension in her slight frame.

"I think we should both get some sleep. Tomorrow's Saturday, we can talk again then." Both the girls rose, and Lily efficiently packed everything back in the basket. "We're okay, Narcissa."


	3. Snape and Dumbledore

_I kissed Narcissa Black. _Lily's internal monologue was stuck on repeat. _I _kissed _Narcissa. She kissed me! It was… amazing. _A giddy smile played on her lips, unbidden. _I want to kiss her again. What does that mean? I thought there would eventually be A Boy. Now… now it seems unlikely. When I kissed Mic last summer, in France, I thought… I _assumed_ he just wasn't the right boy. Maybe there _isn't_ a right boy for me? Merlin. What will my family think? Woah, Lily, slow down! You've only shared a few kisses. _Sirius's voice intruded unpleasantly in to her mind. _As good as sold to Lucius Malfoy, remember? I don't even know if Narcissa wants to date me. Although that train of thought obviously shows that _I _want to date _her. Frustrated, Lily looked at the time. 6am. Far too early to seek out Narcissa. _And there's no way I can tell Vanessa about last night. What if she can tell when she looks at me!? Oh, that's ridiculous. _The heavy crimson curtains of her four-poster felt like they were closing in. _I need to get out of here._

A short while later, Lily was sitting in the library, furtively slinking through the aisles. Abandoning her usual habit of collecting an armful of books and finding somewhere comfortable to read, she was pulling individual books off the shelves and skimming them with an air of wariness.

_Why is there nothing here about witches who fall in love with other witches? _Lily frowned. _Books on everything from the 'Theory of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack' through to the Dark Arts of the Restricted Section. But nothing – nothing! – helpful this morning. Maybe I'll have more luck at the bookshop in Hogsmeade._

A snowy owl tapped on the window nearby. Lily opened it and accepted the piece of parchment it was carrying. Immediately the owl took wing back to the Owlery.

**L,**

**I need to talk about yesterday. I am sorry I panicked. There are things I need to tell you about me, about my family. Please, give me a chance to apologise properly and explain? If you never want to see me again, I understand. If you're interested, I'll be waiting, same time and place as yesterday.**

**N.**

_A whole day to wait!? _Lily slid the last unhelpful book back on the shelves. _Ugh, at least I can go to Hogsmeade in the meantime._

* * *

"Lily?"

"Sev! It's been a while." Lily dropped the book she was holding, and turned to her ex-best-friend. He picked up her book.

"Failsafe Charms to Charm Witches? Really, Lily, is Potter getting so bad you need to study his moves beforehand for defence?" The dark-haired boy smirked.

"What do you want, Severus?"

"My my, we _are_ nervous, aren't we? Why so jumpy?"

"None of your business. You no longer have any say in my life, Severus. You made that clear the day you called me a mudblood."

"You know I've apologised time and time again for that, Lily."

"I know. I don't hate you, but I still can't trust you." Severus stared from her to the book, and his normally narrowed eyes opened wide.

"Finally figured it out, have you?" His voice was cold. "Why Potter never _could_ get your attention?"

"What are you talking about?" Lily stepped back, stopping when she bumped in to the shelves.

"It'll get you both killed, you fool." Behind his cold reserve, Lily could see a glimmer of the friendship they once shared.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She muttered.

"I noticed years ago, Lily. I know Muggles don't approve. In some ways the Wizarding World is even more traditional than Muggles. This is one of them. At best, her family will force her into a suitable marriage. At worst, if you run away together? You'll both be facing a one-way trip to St. Mungos - or even Azkaban. You'd have to snap your wand and hide to stand a chance." Lily stared at him in horror.

"You're lying." She was shaking as though ice-water had just been thrown over her.

"Not about this. I had hoped I was wrong about _you._" His expression was troubled. "For the sake of our old friendship, I won't say a word." He grabbed her shoulders. "Lily, Lily, you're panicking. Breathe. Look at me. Breathe." His voice was low. "We can't keep talking about this, certainly not here." Lily clutched blindly at his shoulders.

"Is she okay?" The shop-keeper's voice intruded as he walked up to them.

"She's fine, thank you Sir. Got some bad news from home. I'm just going to take her outside and get her something warm to drink."

"Good lad. You keep an eye on her. Looks like she's seen a ghost."

Lily was vaguely aware of Severus guiding her outside the store and back towards Hogwarts. Partway there he walked over to a fallen tree and sat down on the trunk, and she joined him.

"I wasn't wrong, was I?" Numbly, she shook her head. Severus sighed. "I'm sorry, Lily. I hoped you'd never need to know." He pulled her in to a hug, like old times when they were children, only this time it was Lily who was sobbing uncontrollably.

Sniffling, Lily eventually let him go and sat up.

"Sorry, Sev."

"It's okay." He glanced at his pocket-watch. "Look, it's getting on in the morning. People will be coming down from the Castle soon."

"You'd best get going. Even if I don't like your Slytherin friends, I'm glad you've found people who appreciate you."

"One could say that." He added darkly. Placing his hands on Lily's hips, he set her on her feet. _When did Sev get so strong?_ She marvelled. _Oh, if only things could have been different between us._ Looking in to his eyes, she saw the same sadness that had been there since the day they were thirteen and had kissed in the park one summer. _He knew before I did. _Lily could feel her expression faltering, and took a deep breath.

"What am I supposed to do?" She wondered out loud. "The more I think about it, the more I am certain that this is where my heart is. With women." She smiled. "That's the first time I've said it out loud. I fancy women." Severus frowned.

"Don't say that out loud, Lily." He warned. "You never know who may be watching. Men like Goyle and Lestrange wouldn't think twice about 'teaching' you differently." The disgust in his voice was plain. "Their Pureblood status protects them. Nothing in the Wizarding World protects you, or the lucky girl who's making you smile like that. I've heard even Dumbledore faced those rumours when he was younger. There was no proof, but he still had to take Veritaserum before they'd employ him at Hogwarts."

"So I have to snap my wand and live as a muggle outcast, or marry any wizard who'll have me?"

"You'll hate me for this, Lily. But as for 'what you should do?' Marry a man who loves you, and learn to be happy." He glanced around, and then kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'm here, if you'll have me."

"Sev! Sev, no, I couldn't. Lying to you like that? Never to you." She pushed him away.

"I've got to go." His voice was carefully moderated. "I know I've never been who you wanted, but at least I know, and I care for you. You can trust me to keep your secret. Be careful, Lily, please." Severus stalked off back in to town, shoulders hunched and wand drawn.

* * *

"Professor Dumbledore?" _What in Merlin's name am I doing? _"Professor?"

"Come in, Miss Evans. How may I help you?"

"I have some questions. For a friend."

"Certainly. Please, have a seat." With a wave of his hand Dumbledore closed the door behind her and drew a chair to his desk. "What is on your mind?"

"I hope I'm not being impolite, sir, but I wanted to ask you something."

"By all means, ask away. Whether I'll answer remains to be seen." He smiled, steepling his fingers.

"I overheard a couple talking in Hogsmeade, this morning," she began, "I'd knelt down in the bookstore to tie my boot-laces, and I don't think they realised I was there. They – they said that in the Wizarding World that relationships between two men, or two women, are forbidden." _Why is he staring at me like that? So intently. I can't seem to look away. Surely he can't tell? _Images of Narcissa flashed across her mind: soft lips, gentle hands … _focus. Don't slip up. _"It's different for muggles. Certainly not accepted, but not… punishable." _Don't blush._

"One of them said that … well, that it would be better for those sort of people to marry properly, to someone kind, and try to be happy with that."

"And what do you believe, Miss Evans?"

"I don't know, Professor. I'd never thought about it before last – before this morning. It seems barbaric to me, denying people to love whom they love. As wrong as the logic that Purebloods should only marry Purebloods."

"Then you have your answer, Miss Evans."

"Professor, I heard that as a young man you faced that sort of rumours."

"I did. Miss Evans, rumours of Azkaban have a basis in fact. That is all I shall say on the topic."

"I won't ask anything further about that, but… hypothetically, for my friend, what would you advise someone in such a situation to do?" _His eyes are such a piercing blue. I feel like I'm being x-rayed. _Lily shifted uncomfortably on her seat as she waited for a reply.

"I would suggest, Miss Evans, that such a person should weigh up very carefully their options. And also that they should be very sure about the path they and their lover are choosing. In the Wizarding World, and even in the Muggle world, that is not a decision to be made lightly, or in haste. Some paths may be harder than others, however that does not make them impossible."

"Thank you, Professor." Dumbledore rose, and the classroom door opened.

"Miss Evans?"

"Yes, Professor?"

"I hope for your sake she is worth the risk. Sometimes there are risks that need to be taken, but I would advise such a person to be extremely careful. Do I make myself clear?"

"I think so. Thank you." With a smile, Lily left.

* * *

Lily breathed a deep sigh of relief when she met Narcissa sitting underneath the clock tower bells.

"I know why you ran away." Lily greeted her.

"Who told you?" Narcissa stiffened.

"Severus. It's okay. We've been friends for years. He only had to look at me to know."

"Oh."

"And – I spoke to Professor Dumbledore."

"DUMBLEDORE!?" Narcissa pulled away. "What were you _thinking_?"

"That Professor Dumbledore could fill in the gaps I couldn't bear to hear you say." The deadly seriousness in Lily's voice drew Narcissa back. "How could you live with that knowledge and still kiss me?"

"I thought you knew." She leant against Lily. "I never meant to… it was never my intention. I didn't ask you up here last night for that, I just wanted to talk. I'm betrothed to a Malfoy! I've spent so little time with you, and I already feel as though I've known you for years. I've admired you for years! I told myself it was just because you are so fiery and courageous, and I'm quite the opposite. Always protected by Lucius and overshadowed by Bella." Her voice broke. "Then you sat next to me in Charms, and I couldn't look at you for blushing. You held me while I cried in the Library, and I – I knew. I realised that the feelings that I've had towards you, in the past towards other girls… that they are not feelings a young woman is expected to have."

"Oh, Narcissa."

"My family will kill me. If you'd seen my Mother and Father when they'd learnt about Romi … Merlin. I will be _lucky_ to end up in Azkaban. Why is it that Sirius may do as he likes, and yet my future was locked in before I was ten years old?" Tears streamed down her face. "Romi is the only one I could even _consider_ talking to, and she's _gone!"_

"Shhh, shhh." Lily wrapped her arms around Narcissa tightly. "You can talk to me."

Narcissa shifted, her body weight pinning Lily to the ground. _Merlin,_ Lily thought, feeling the curves of the blonde girl's body press against her own. _This must be what all the girls talk about feeling with their boyfriends. _All attempts at thought failed as Narcissa kissed her passionately, one hand in her hair and the other on her shoulder. The two girls continued to kiss and slowly learn each other's curves through their robes, their kisses and hands becoming more insistent.

"Narcissa," Lily managed to gasp her name between kisses, surprised by how different her voice sounded. Narcissa's blue eyes were locked on hers, and she paused. "Narcissa, I'm not ready for where I think this may be going." Narcissa surprised her by giggling.

"Me neither." Narcissa kissed her again. "I like it, though." She whispered in the red-head's ear. Lily smiled at the change from shy girl to a mischievous young woman.

"I think – you can tell – I like it." She stuttered. _It's a good thing I'm not a boy,_ Lily thought, laughing mentally. "I think – you _need_ – to move." Lily was staring at the smooth, creamy skin of Narcissa's legs revealed by her crumpled skirt and robes. Judging by the satisfied smirk on the other girl's face, Narcissa was now fully aware of just what she was doing.

"Definitely." Her face was scarlet now, and she noticed Narcissa's breathing was short like her own. "Sorry. I, uh, got a little carried away?" She sat up, straightening her clothes.

"I think we both did." Lily's smile was crooked. "Look, let's be honest: we're still getting to know each other." Narcissa nodded. "This is new, and, and amazing, but honestly? I need to slow down."

"Technically, I'm engaged. Lily, what are we going to do?"

"Why don't we just say we're friends? Spend more time together outside class, that way. I am still your Charms tutor, after all. Maybe go to Hogsmeade some time?"

"We can take things a little more slowly." Narcissa's smile was kind. "I fancy you, and I am getting the impression you feel the same about me…?" Her voice trailed off.

"You know I do. But this isn't something either of us can really afford to have known. Or that we can make a decision on right now. It's a huge thing, for me as well. As much as I enjoyed that," Lily smiled shyly, "this is too dangerous for both of us to take lightly, or merely physically. I want to spend more time with _you_."

"So it's settled: we date!" Narcissa cuddled her, and just as quickly let her go. She cleared her throat, blushing. "Sorry, best lay off that for tonight."

"Dating sounds wonderful." Lily kissed her on the cheek. "I am looking forward to learning all sorts of things about you, Narcissa!"


	4. Boys and Letters

"You know how to contact Ro - Andromeda, don't you?" Lily sat down next to Sirius, for once finding him apart from his friends.

"Lily, what a pleasant surprise! May I pass on James' compliment that you look simply _radiant_ today?" Sirius smirked. _A trait all the purebloods seem to share._ Lily mused.

"Cut the crap, Sirius." The boy's dark eyebrows rose so high they disappeared under his messy hair. "I saw you receive a letter this morning, with a woman's handwriting. It wasn't your parent's owl. Do you know where she is?"

"I'll have you know that there are simply _hoards_ of women writing to me, Evans! Daily! Why would you care, anyway?"

"Because if you don't tell me, dear Sirius, the next time Potter and you are in the same room, I'll kiss you in front of him. Tell him that I can't bear to keep 'our little secret' any longer."

"Bloody hell, Evans! There's no way – you wouldn't!" Sirius looked as though he'd taken a bludger to the head. Lily stared him down.

"Dare me."

"How about, I tell you, you say 'yes' to James the next time he asks you out?" Lily groaned.

"… on one condition."

"Go on…"

"Narcissa. There's no reason you can't treat her like a human being. I _heard_ the regret in your voice at the situation your aunt and uncle have put her in. Give her a way to contact Romi." Sirius frowned.

"Why d'you care what happens to the Pureblood Princess?" His tone was scathing.

"None of your damn business, Black."

"Oho, so it's 'Black' again now, is it? In that case, I withdraw my ever-so-generous offer." James Potter chose that moment to stride in to the Common Room, and cringing, Lily put her hand on Sirius's upper thigh.

"LILY!" Sirius jumped, trying to get away. "LILY. JAMES, WOULD YOU LOOK! LILY IS HERE. WAITING FOR YOU." His awkward cover-up somewhat ruined by the panicked expression on his face. Luckily, James was too busy staring at his red-haired dream girl to notice.

"Hey, Evans? Waiting for me? Guess you finally came to your senses!" Lily gave him a sarcastic smile.

"What, Potter? As you can see, I don't have time for you."

"Not right now, or so you say. But what about Saturday? You, me, dinner for two in Hogsmeade?" He flashed his winning smile. Sirius gave her a quick nod, and picked up a scrap of parchment and a quill.

" … fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes, I agree, thank you, and so on and _so forth_!" Lily snapped. "Stop staring at me like a goldfish, Potter."

"Alright mate, I think you'd best come for a stroll. Bit of Quidditch practise never hurts." Sirius dragged his stunned friend out of the Common Room, leaving behind a barely legible note.

_22 Bagshot Way, Godric's Hollow. Care of 'Romi da Nera.' Andromeda wasn't known for her brains._

* * *

"Narcissa, you're really improving." Lily's voice was warm as she watched the other girl conjure a flock of sparrows as golden as her hair.

"I know. My tutor must be working wonders on me these last few months." The two girls were sitting on a desk in the otherwise empty Charms classroom.

"Your charms tutor has something for you." Smiling, she pulled a slip of parchment from her heavy Charms book, and handed it over. Narcissa glanced at it, and immediately pulled Lily in to a tight hug, almost knocking both of them off their perch.

"How ever did you – oh, I don't even care how – Lily, this means so much to me!" Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "This is Sirius's handwriting?" she added curiously.

"Yeah. On that note, I have something less happy to tell you." Lily scrunched up her nose in distaste. "I had to agree to dinner with James, or Sirius wouldn't budge."

"Oh."

"Hogsmeade. Saturday night. I am quite sure it will be _the_ most trying night of my entire night."

"Must you go?" Narcissa's voice was no longer happy.

"I think I'd better. I don't really want to be on the receiving end of Sirius's pranks for the next year."

"True. I am so glad you found this for me." Narcissa snuggled up as much as their awkward seating would allow. "I just – I wish that _I _could take you to tea. We aways have to hide. I can't even hold your hand in public…" she trailed off sadly.

"I know, dear one." Lily kissed her lightly on the temple. "I think you and I are going to have to talk about that – not now, but soon." She linked her fingers with Narcissa's. Overhead, the little sparrows suddenly swooped towards the door, cheeping loudly. Warned, the two girls resumed the appearance of practising spells, not a moment too soon before Professor Flitwick shuffled through the door.

"Still practising, girls?" He said squeakily. "Miss Black, I have seen a remarkable improvement in your Charms work recently. Miss Evans, you seem to have the makings of a fine teacher!"

"Thank you, Professor." Both girls replied in unison.

* * *

"So, Evans..." James strode beside her on the road down to Hogsmeade. "May I call you Lily?" He continued abruptly.

"Sure, Potter. I mean, James."

"Lily. You have a beautiful name." He smiled, and Lily was amused to see his normal cocky attitude had been quenched. "Is the Three Broomsticks okay by you?"

"Sure, it's fine." Lily walked briskly beside James' loping gait, wistfully longing to see Narcissa's slim form beside her.

"Okay then." Another awkward lull followed.

"Good work on the last Quidditch game." Lily chipped in, feeling sorry for the boy. _Black kept his end of our bargain, I can at least be pleasant to Potter. No point torturing him._

"Thanks. The whole game came together when Sirius did that rolling dive..." James started another quidditch spiel, to which Lily nodded and "ah'd" at all the correct points. Soon they were being seated by the barmaid, and ordered their meals. _At least Potter didn't try to order me a salad,_ Lily chuckled to herself, trying her potatoes.

Laughing, some time later Lily and Potter tumbled out of the Three Broomsticks, chattering away like old friends. Lily felt a ball of anguish in her chest growing larger every minute. _James really isn't so bad, once he's on his own. Far less of a show-off. It's obvious he fancies me. I don't want to lead him on! But do I really have anything with Narcissa that can last? Oh, I wish she was here. James seems pleasant enough. I suppose I'll have to settle for a man, one day..._

"Lily? What are you thinking? You seem a million miles away?" Lily snapped back to attention and met the eyes of the inquisitive boy.

"Oh, nothing. You know, girlish things." James raised an eyebrow.

"How handsome I look tonight? Isn't that what you birds usually gossip about?"

"Birds? Merlin, you are SO conceited."

"Hey, Lily, that hurts me deeply." James laughed, belying his tone. "I can't help it if you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met." His voice went hoarse on the last few words. Lily hid a smile behind her hand, blushing despite herself. "Not to mention intelligent, clever, and yes, even fun." He reached over and moved her hand, holding on to it.

"James!" Lily squeaked.

"Can you really say I'm so bad, Lily? Honestly? Look at me." Lily made the mistake of meeting his blue eyes, which were unfortunately sincere and affectionate. "Are you not enjoying tonight?"

_I guess James isn't _so _terrible._

"It's been fun, James. You've been different. More settled."

_He's still holding my hand._

"So next week, then?"

_Oh, what do I say? What will Narcissa say? What do I want?_

"I really fancy you, Lily. Please say yes." Lily shivered at the entreating look in his eyes. "You're cold!" He exclaimed. "Here." James gently pulled her close, wrapping his coat around her. Lily craned her head up to look at him. She noticed his masculine scent. _I want Narcissa. But James wants me, and ..._

Warm lips pressed against her own, James encircling her with one arm and pulling her close. _What do I do? What do _girls who fancy boys_ do, you idiot? Kiss him before he notices! _Her panic going unnoticed, Lily was let off the hook by James, who pulled away. They started walking, Hogwarts looming up ahead.

"I'm sorry." He muttered softly. "I shouldn't have..."

_Narcissa's mouth is so much smaller. Matched with mine. I could feel his five o'clock shadow. He's so much taller. James kissed me. He's pleasant to look at, not a complete bastard, and so many girls would kill to be kissing him in the moonlight. I don't _feel_ anything. _Lily's mind was scrambled.

"Lily, your staring is starting to become creepy."

_Can I kiss him? What am I going to do? What do I say? Does this mean I'll never openly have a home, a family, a relationship? Narcissa and I will always be in the shadows. Is it for the best? Narcissa is engaged. Maybe I could be content with James._

"I'm sorry, James. That was... unexpected. I need to think." She squeezed his hand, and then let it go. She could see James take a deep breath, and when he spoke his voice was shaky.

"If that's what you want. I might head to the kitchens before curfew." He ran a hand through his messy hair, giving her an attempt at his normally confident smile. "I won't forget tonight. Thanks, Lily. Next time I'll just have to do a better job of sweeping you off your feet!"

* * *

"I can't believe you let him _kiss_ you!" Narcissa's blue eyes were furious and tearful. Lily wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, Narcissa. It wasn't as though I liked it! I – I didn't know what to do, it all happened so quickly." Narcissa sniffed.

"Bad enough I have to be close to Lucius when he visits, but I can't lose you, too."

"You're not _losing_ me." Lily kissed her cheek. "You're engaged, and it breaks my heart every day to know that some boy has a claim to you that I can never make."

"I hate it! Lucius treats me well, but I don't _want_ Lucius." Narcissa's sobs racked her small body, and Lily held her until she quietened. "I don't know what to say to you, Lily."

"Why?"

"Because it hurts so much to think of you making a life with James, even if he loves you."

"I won't love him. You don't love Lucius. I'm not even sure I _could_ be with someone I can't love."

"But I'll marry Lucius. I don't have a choice. So where does that leave _us_?"

"You really have to marry him? Run away with me." Lily sighed. "I say that, and I know it's not so simple. We've already had too many close calls, Narcissa. Maybe it's best if I date James, for now. I don't like the idea, but I've seen the way people look at us, even when we just say hello in passing."

"I'm in love with you." The tearful words stilled Lily's heart. "I'd go anywhere if only we could be together."

"I love you, too." Narcissa shifted to face her girlfriend, kissing her gently.

"... I wrote to Romi about us. She replied, but I've been too scared to open it." She summoned the letter from her bag.

"Narcissa! You silly thing. From what you've told me about Andromeda, she'll always love you."

With trembling hands, Narcissa broke the seal and unfolded the parchment.

_My dear little sister,_

_It's lovely to hear from you – our cousin wrote saying he gave you my contact details, the mischievous lad! For safety's sake I won't mention any names. That said, your letter worries me deeply._

_I know how much your engagement has concerned you. It might surprise you, but I already knew that your affections did not take towards men. Don't fret, I am sure the rest of the family (for I will no longer say 'mine') are too obtuse to notice._

_Remember: I will always love you, regardless of whom you fall in love with._

_However, I must urge you to take the utmost caution regarding your engagement. Mother and Father won't let you break it off lightly, nor will the other Family. I beg you, do not let anyone know of your relationship unless you are completely certain she is the one you wish to be with for the rest of your life. I know this sounds harsh, but once you take that step there is no going back. You'll be running from Aurors forever. If you are caught, and escape sentencing to Azkaban, you'll forced to marry the worst sort of man. Be wary, be careful, and be safe._

_I don't say this to hurt you. I may have run off with a "mudblood," as our charming parents would say, but that is not considered illegal in Wizarding society, just amongst purebloods. Your girlfriend may be unaware, but you know our laws. Is this girl really worth risking your life? If she is, then I am very happy for you, and wish you both well._

_If you need me, I am here for you. My husband and I will always support you, and the young lady you've fallen in love with. Just please, please, be careful._

_Love,_

_Your happily-married sister._

"Narcissa? I'll leave you with your letter. I love you." With a light kiss on the cheek, Lily rose and walked off into the night.


	5. Cuddles and Pubs

Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns all!

A/N: Sorry for lack of updates! Personal life has been a little sketchy lately and getting my life back in order writing. Hopefully should see more regular updates soon!

* * *

_She loves me. Lily is in love with me!_ Narcissa practically skipped on her way back to the Common Room, wand-light illuminating an unmistakeable joy on her features. The cold air of the corridors was but a mere trifle to a girl warmed within by the heady spirit of young love.

Nearly colliding with a statue, Narcissa looked around and realised she was nowhere near the Slytherin Dungeons. _Oh, if only Lily and I had a place where we could talk, and just be ourselves. _She thought wistfully, the memory of far too many interrupted conversations at the front of her mind. Narcissa found herself idly staring down the corridor. _Somewhere we could be ourselves, and be safe._ To her shock, a large wooden door suddenly appeared in front of her!

Cautiously, Narcissa pressed a hand against the door, staggering when it swung open quite neatly. Slipping inside, she was greeted by a cozy little room – tall bookshelves lining the walls of a library alcove, a small sofa set in front of a fireplace, with two open doorways showing what looked to be a bathroom, and – she blushed – a bedroom.

_The Room of Requirement!_ She thought excitedly. _I've heard rumours, but I never thought I'd actually _find _it!_ She thought gleefully. _We don't have to hide anymore. I won't belong to Lucius, and she won't be considering James._

Satified, Narcissa left the room, taking note of the location the door had appeared in. _Tomorrow, _she promised herself. _I'll owl Lily and tell her to wait for me here. _Andromeda's letter clutched tightly in one hand, the Slytherin gathered her thoughts and headed for the Common Room.

* * *

"Lily!" Narcissa rose from the lounge as her girlfriend entered the Room of Requirement, a look of amazement clearly visible.

"Narcissa, how did this _get_ here?" Her obvious stream of questions was cut off by a heated kiss. Lily found her back pressed against the locked door. "Narcissa!" She squeaked. "Are you _insane?_ Anyone could walk in here!"

"No, they can't." She replied, smugly. "This room is one of Hogwart's little secrets. It suits the needs of whomever finds and opens the door. I was pacing last night, so excited from Romi's letter, and telling you how I felt, and you feeling the same, and just _everything_. And voila, the door appeared."

"I don't think I've ever seen you look so... confident. Happy." Lily cocked her head, checking her girlfriend out. "I like it." Lily lead her unexpectedly assertive girlfriend to the lounge, and sat beside her.

"We're _safe_, Lily. No-one can sneak up on us, or eavesdrop. I asked the Room for somewhere safe, where we could be ourselves." She gestured around the small apartment. "And I got it. For the first time in my entire life, Lily, I don't feel ashamed, or scared, or shy. I don't have to worry about others considering me aloof or arrogant. I don't have to worry about keeping my gaze away from you out of fear someone can tell. Nothing in this room matters except you and me." Narcissa kissed her, a kiss full of promises.

"I like the sound of that." Lily smiled. "May I look around?"

"Sure." Standing, Narcissa took her by the hand and led her around the apartment. There's the bathroom – similar to what I've heard of the Prefect's bathrooms – a small library nook over here. Another door over here leads to a space like a classroom, I assume for practising spells. It wasn't there before."

"And this one?" Lily put her free hand on a thick oak door, looking questioningly at her girlfriend. Narcissa nodded, and the door was pushed open.

"This would be the bedroom." Narcissa blushed as the two girls walked inside, gold and silver dominating the room. Lily walked over to the bed, running a hand over the soft shimmering quilt. She clambered in to the middle of the bed and sat, bouncing lightly. Narcissa sat beside her. The two girls sat in silence.

"Quite comforta-" Her comment was cut off by Narcissa, kissing her as though the world was ending. Lily found herself kissing back just as ardently, lying back on the mattress. Narcissa followed her, being pulled by lithe hands sliding up her shirt and around her waist. Lily shifted, and in compensating Narcissa found herself effectively straddling the other woman, pressed up against each other from head to toe. Between kisses, Lily's hands were fumbling with buttons.

_What are we doing!?_ Narcissa came to her senses, abruptly aware of how quickly things were moving. _We've never been this far before. _Lily's eyes were wide, but her mouth was curved in a wicked smile.

"Wait." Narcissa managed to moan. "I love you, but are you – are you ready? Is this what you want? Am _I_ who you want?"

"I love you. I _want_ you." Lily's voice was high. "If you want to wait, that's alright." Narcissa replied with a kiss, leaving Lily breathless. "I'll take that as a 'no.'" she gasped.

* * *

"I'm sorry I stopped you." Narcissa said shyly. "I guess I wasn't as ready as I thought." The two girls were cuddling in lingerie underneath the heavy quilt. Clothes were scattered around the room.

"You go from confident and sexy to shy and loveable in the blink of an eye." Lily laughed affectionately. "Stop worrying so much. _This_ is _better_ than fine." She kissed Narcissa's collarbone, eyes lingering on her cleavage. "I'll take this view any day." She added with a wink.

"Thank you. Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have to date James? Do you want him?"

"No, and certainly not as a lover. It would be... easier, though." Lily's fingers played in Narcissa's hair. "People are starting to ask questions about the lack of men in my life."

"If you feel that being 'content' with James is what you need, I understand. I can never offer you any kind of decent life. The letter from Romi made me consider my engagement..."

"Oh?"

"Even if I called it off with Lucius, ran away, and so on... you and I will never be free."

"I know."

"What do we do, then? Marry a bloke and sneak around? Be considered suspicious spinsters until our dying day?"

"I think Sirius suspects something. He saw me sneak back in to the Common Room last night. He knows I asked after Romi for you, and that we're spending time together to study 'charms.' Narcissa, I know you're still upset about James, but... perhaps it's best if we keep up appearances. You certainly can't change anything with Lucius until graduation. That's two years away."

"Thank Merlin."

"Exactly. We have time to continue taking things slowly. You flirt with your fiancé, I'll flirt with a few boys – not enough to lead them on, mind." Narcissa kissed her hand.

"I wish it could just be us."

"I do, too." Lily chuckled. "Merlin knows what I'm going to do with Potter. He's scented blood, and on the chase." Narcissa laughed.

* * *

Narcissa shivered. Even under her thick cloak the cold breeze raised goose-bumps on her skin. A bell chimed above the door to the Hogshead Pub, and she glanced up furtively. A young witch slipped inside, pushing the door shut behind her. Narcissa waved, and her sister walked over.

"Romi!" The girls hugged quickly, glancing around, and then moved towards a booth charmed for privacy. For a moment they both sat there in silence, Narcissa blushing and staring at her hands. "Thank you for coming." She finally whispered. "You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Oh, I think I do, Cissa." Romi gave her a lopsided smile. "So don't I get to meet your new friend?" she added with a wink.

"She doesn't know I'm here. I wanted to talk about your letter?"

"Oh, my dear girl." Romi's voice was heavy with sadness. "I knew you'd realise eventually. But I hoped – for your sake – that it would not come to pass. Cissa... I'm worried about you. You're not even sixteen!"

"You were sixteen when you met Ted."

"Ted won't get me killed." An ugly silence occurred.

"I don't love Lucius, Romi! Believe me, I've tried. Lily and I – we've both got men that want us. We're both keeping up appearances, and it _hurts_. I hate seeing her walk the halls in _his_ arms instead of mine. I hate the way they can so casually act affectionately. I hate that I can't tell the world I love her and she loves me."

"... that is the fiercest thing I've ever heard you say."

"I love her, Romi. I don't care if you think it's puppy love or ill-advised. But I don't know what to do."

"Why?" Andromeda rested her chin on clasped hands.

"Because I can't offer her anything. Unlike Lucius, she expects nothing. I want to imagine a future with her, and I can't do that when I'm bound to him." Narcissa started to cry softly. "Last month, we found a room in Hogwarts, it changes to whatever you want it to be."

"I know the room, go on."

"And for the first time in my life? I felt _free._ But we have to stage our meetings so as not to arrive or leave at the same time. I have to studiously keep my expression straight when I look at her across the Great Hall." Narcissa dried her cheeks with the palm of her hand. "I have to pretend to fawn over Lucius at every family engagement, and every time he puts his hand on my waist it takes my every effort not to pull away."

"Oh, Cissa..."

"How do I live with this, Romi? What am I supposed to do? Lily thinks we should just wait things out, but... I don't want to _wait._ I am tired of _waiting._"

"You need to graduate, Narcissa." Romi's voice was sad but firm. "It's that or run off and live as muggles. Always living in fear. With the rumours about a pureblood rule growing..." she sighed. "Listen to your girl. Wait until you've finished at Hogwarts, then, if you still feel this way... I'll help you. I think friends of mine could get you out of the country – to France, perhaps."

"You mean that?"

"... I do. Only if you promise to keep your head down, and finish your schooling. You're risking her life as well, never forget that."

"I won't, Romi. Oh, thank you!"

"Alright, Narcissa, I have to go. Ted was worried someone might recognise me, and I really can't linger. I love you." A smile, a kiss on the cheek, and Andromeda Tonks was gone.


End file.
